No news is good news!

My mother-in-law has always said, "No news is good news." I hope you have all subscribed to that over the last couple of months since my last update. Although, I am realizing now that I have deprived you of GREAT news during a time when we all need it!

We found out in June that Kara's Pediatric Rheumatologist was making the transistion to Pediatrics in general. This was GREAT news because that eliminates one whole doctor from our team...now her Pediatrician is also her Rheumatologist! YAY, we save a copay and other input! LOL

In July, Kara tolerated our Teen Girl Ministries Road Trip to Disneyland very well! It was an exhausting time but she had a fabulous time...even riding on the bus!

July also began our many follow-up appointments. Here Gastro and Rheumy gave her a quick thumbs up, then we saw her Pulmonologist. This was a first time work-up for her Scleroderma and a follow-up for her asthma. The dr. put her back on her rescue inhaler and scheduled a full set of Pulmonary Functioning Tests to check her lungs. This was the last baseline of testing we really wanted to have done, and also the last organ that needed to be checked for peace of mind. All of her doctors agreed that they were curious to see how she tolerates school.

So, August poofed and yesterday was her final follow-up with her Pulmonologist for the results of the PFTs and........................

Not only did God decide to protect her lungs and they showed no sign of Scleroderma damage but...He healed her of her asthma!!! That's right, her lungs are functioning at 105% capacity!! Praise the Lord!! WOOHOO!

So, now she will have follow-ups every 6 months and will have all of the tests re-run annually. This will allow us to jump on anything that could possibly come up.

She is back on the volleyball team at her school and plans to play basketball in the Spring and tennis in the Summer. She isn't so excited that she now has the thumbs up to run the mile, but she'll muscle through it and do well.

I am so grateful for your prayers. Kara told me that she has been comforted many times just knowing how many people were praying for her. As a family, we have needed those prayers. This has been a very stressful year for us, but God has been so gracious through it all. He is so good to his children!

When I began this blog, God gave me a scripture that is in the sidebar on the left. In all of this, we will "always have hope and praise you more and more." Psalm 71:14

The latest...

I am so sorry it has been so long since my last post. Just remember, no news is good news. That's right...it's lots of good news...

Kara's heaviness in her abdomin is completely gone. The morphea spot on her leg is gone. Her fatigue has diminished significantly since we began treating her thyroid. Her weight gain has stopped and the puffiness in her face is gone.

She was my sidekick at Stars Camp and kept up pretty well. She needed alot of sleep when we got home, but she was up for the adventure walk and didn't miss breakfast or swimming while we were there. It was great to have her there to thank so many of the churches that have been praying for her.

Tonight she had pain again in her abdomin for the first time in a long while, but it seems to be her GI tract. She hadn't eaten well today, then delayed her dinner which left her with a pretty bad tummy ache while walking the dogs with her sister. It was so bad I had to go pick her up, get her home and get food in her quickly. It subsided within an hour or so. I guess she had to test the boundaries...normal for any of us.

Kara has a few upcoming follow-up appointments and labs to do in the next few weeks. We anticipate all good news. Thank you for your continued prayers...we serve a faithful God!!

"All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful for those who keep the demands of his covenant." Psalm 25:10 NIV

What a week!

Kara's blessing turned out to be quite a pain! Her rash didn't begin getting better until Thursday. It was very uncomfortable and itchy. Once it began getting better, it healed up quickly, though! YAY, God! By Thursday evening, she said, "Mom, I've got to go to school tomorrow." Boy, did I agree!

She went to school, then we hurried off to an event at a church out-of-town. We had a great time at New Hope in Cotati. It was An Elegant Affair: Chocolate by Candlelight. I think Kara regrets the amount of chocolate and dippers she ate that night. She was so exhausted from Friday, that on Saturday she missed her tennis match and just couldn't get it together for our Mother's Day luncheon at our own church. We are learning how to handle Kara's fatigue, unfortunately, the hard way.

Mother's Day itself was a great day for us as a family...and we were home early enough to get to bed early. 8-) See, we are learning.

Today Kara had a follow-up with our Family Practioner in regards to her Thyroid. Her Thyroxine (T4) is low, so she will begin taking a low dose of Levothyroxine to bring it back up to the normal range. We are hoping that this may help her fatigue, constipation, muscle aches/cramps, and personally...her forgetfulness! LOL She has seemed quite forgetful, so a mom can hope, right??

Kori also had an appointment today...for lower abdominal pain. Oh, grrrr! Remember, we had her tested, so I am confident she does not have Scleroderma. She has an ultrasound scheduled tomorrow morning. Please say a little prayer for her. They are looking at her gallbladder, among other possibilities, but very common possibilities.

God is in control. He loves us. He is our comfort. He is our provider. He is our healer. He is our Deliverer.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." ~Psalm 28:7 NIV

Blessing in disguise...

Last night Kara showed me a rash she had noticed right after I dropped her off at school. Now, rashes and hives used to be our normal. I've got this down, however, having other variables in the mix at this point, almost everything is a doctor's appointment.

So, today we saw our Family Practitioner for the first time since February. He confirmed her rash is not contagious, but is an allergic reaction to...something. I love that! We have never been able to figure the rash thing out. We can put a man on the moon, but we cannot figure out what an allergic rash is caused by. Oh well, I won't lose sleep over this one.

The bonus is that while we were there, we talked about Kara's thyroid being low. He ordered a few more labs and said she probably needs a low dose of thyroid medication.

It was a blessing to have that taken care of so quickly. We don't have one more thing being drawn out in this journey.

Well, I must go so I can put cream on Kara and love on both of my girls. Thank you, again, for your prayers!!

Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisors they succeed. ~Proverbs 15:22 NIV

If you know me, you know that I like a plan. I made my husband get a Blackberry so we could be "on the same page" with our plans. I like to have a plan!

Today we saw Kara's Pediatric Rheumatologist...and we have a plan! We are not going to begin any "regular" treatment right now, but we are going to watch Kara over the next few months to gain a better understanding of how Kara's Scleroderma is developing. It could remain this way for a long time. We just don't know, so we watch...and pray. 8-)

The Rheumatologist has recommended that we follow-up with our Family Practitioner to see if we should add an Endocrinologist to our team. Kara's thyroid is a smidge low, and she is having symptoms that could be related to that, so we need to look into it a bit further. Our Family Practitioner may decide to treat it for now, to watch it or to send us off to the specialist.

We will also be seeing her Pediatric Pulmonologist, asthma/allergy specialist, to see if he wants to run some testing on her lungs. With all of these tests, scopes and labs, we are establishing a baseline on the internal organs that tend to be affected by Scleroderma. These are also areas that Kara has seen some activity that may or may not be associated with her case.

Things feel a little more routine now. I think the initial phase of the "unknown" has passed and now it's becoming less chaotic and we are adapting better. Kara is learning to understand her body better, although she is not quite versed on the medical jargon of her condition. She is just happy that she can play contact sports again! LOL

We are living out the title verse of this post, Proverbs 15:22. We have advisors and we have counsel!! Best of all, we know that the Lord has put this team in place for Kara. They are now a part of our lives for a reason. Our prayer is that we can be a blessing to them and show them His love through this journey!

Thank you for your continued prayers! Your words of encouragement are treasured by our family. You are treasured by our family!

Be joyful...HOW?

This past Sunday night and Monday morning, Kara had a rough time. She ate In n Out Burger for lunch on Sunday and it did not move through her well at all. She was in quite a bit of pain and discomfort until it all passed. We are now on day six of a "good" stretch. YAY, God!!

For me, it was the first time our "new normal" really hit me. It's tough when you realize that something that is beyond your control is dictating your life. I had plans on Monday...BIG plans! I had places to be, people to see, things to do. Yet, I was at home with my sweet Kara, unable to even get away for an hour.

At one point, I sent my hubby a text, asking if he supported me having her rest at the home of a close friend of ours. I knew she would be comfortable there, and that she'd be loved on and well taken care of...for a short time. I didn't expect my husband to say he'd "rather not." WHAT?! Did I not make it clear how important my plans were??

So, as I prayed through my frustration with my husband, God dealt with me. Oh, He does that, doesn't He? God made it very clear that Kara was MY priority and that He has allowed me the opportunity to minister to girls and women throughout hundreds of churches with the flexibility my family needs right now. He had the events covered and they would not suffer if I couldn't be there. He had perfectly capable people in place so that I could minister to my daughter at home during her time of need.

I wish I could say I handled this correction with grace and dignity. I received it, not well at first, but I let it soak in. Through tears of frustration, sadness, and the realization that my plans are no longer my own, but they are at the mercy of Scleroderma and whatever the Lord wants to do through it...I have a better understanding that..

I am a blessed wife,
I am a blessed mom
and
I am a blessed child of God.

I am not perfect. God is not done with me, yet...for that I am grateful! I am a work in progress, a masterpiece by the Master artist, and perfectly understood by the One who created me. For His goodness and mercy, I am grateful!

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
~1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

The puzzle looks more and more like Scleroderma.

We met with Kara's GI doctor today and are convinced the Lord sent her to us. All of the labwork is pointing to Systemic Scleroderma. She is positive for the Scl-70 blood test which is specific for that autoimmune disease. Now there are other labs that support it.

The scope and other GI issues (dysmotility in the esophagus and intestines) are common in Systemic Scleroderma patients, as well as her muscle aches and now the morphea spot on her leg. The GOOD news is that we haven't found any permanent damage!! YAY!!

For now I have removed her from the Anaprox (Aleve) to see how she does leading up to her appointment with her Rheumatologist. If she needs to go back on something for the muscle aches/pains and the stiffness she experiences, then she will also have to go onto a medication to protect her intestines from damage caused by the Anaprox. She will be on a laxative indefinitely. Once everything is under control, we may be able to slowly wean her off and adjust her diet to keep things moving through her GI tract.

Her spleen is back to normal!!! YAY! She can participate in PE again! She is so thrilled! If you know Kara, she doesn't like to sit still. I like to share with people how she had to use a "seatbelt" when we were homeschooling. She had a beach towel that we'd lay across her lap and twist behind her chair to remind her she had to stay seated. It was quite funny...and it worked!

So our next step is to see the Rheumatologist on May 4th to see what we do about her muscle aches/pains, stiffness, and the morphea spot on her leg.

The doctors are not officially "diagnosing" her with Scleroderma because once that is on her medical file, it will affect her ability to obtain medical insurance, as well as her medical care, and the treatments for Scleroderma are taken one step at a time with each symptom.

Once again, we thank you for your prayers. They have sustained us during frustrating times, scary moments, and your words of encouragement have kept our eyes and hearts focusing on the Lord. He has great plans for His children, plans we cannot even fathom!

We are at peace with our journey...we consider it a journey toward healing. As we wait upon Him for healing, we pray that we do not miss the blessings along the way.

Great news...Confusing news...

Have you ever played the game where pieces of a puzzle are slowly revealed and you have to guess what the picture is? I am finding that is how Scleroderma is.

Yesterday our GI doctor called with the pathology results and lab results from last Friday's EGD scope. The pathology reports support the initial findings of no sign of Scleroderma in those tissues...PRAISE THE LORD!!

The lab work still supports and shows Scleroderma. What I am begining to understand is that Kara's lab work will always show Scleroderma antibodies because that is her "gene pool". The example the Rhematologist gave at our last appointment is that some will be positive for the breast cancer gene, but it doesn't mean they have breast cancer.

Just like the diagnosis of breast cancer is supported once a cancerous tumor has grown and is found, the diagnosis of Scleroderma must be supported by symptoms that are confirmed as such.

So, we simply have more pieces to the puzzle revealed, but we still cannot see that it is definitley Scleroderma that is causing her symptoms.

Tomorrow, Friday, we will see the GI doctor and will talk with her further. Then May 4th we will see the Rheumatologist again for more details. I'm not sure what will happen at these appointments, and to be honest, I'm not even going to try to guess. All I know is we serve a God who is bigger than any diagnosis that can ever be given!

An update on Kara...she had a nice stretch of feeling better. She started having back pains, but these seem as random as the leg and arm pains. Her fatigue seems to be better, but still not back to "normal". The heaviness in her tummy also seems to be a little better. She had her first tennis match last Saturday and seems to do well being active. She is sleeping better. Yesterday she did begin having some sharp pains again, but she is also not taking her Anaprox (Aleve-type anti-inflammatory) to see if that is what has been helping her. Keep praying!

In the wise words of Job chapter 11, who knew first hand that his God had bigger plans for his life than what his circumstances outwardly showed...

7 "Can you fathom the mysteries of God?
Can you probe the limits of the Almighty?

8 They are higher than the heavens—what can you do?
They are deeper than the depths of the grave —what can you know?

9 Their measure is longer than the earth
and wider than the sea.

10 "If he comes along and confines you in prison
and convenes a court, who can oppose him?

11 Surely he recognizes deceitful men;
and when he sees evil, does he not take note?

12 But a witless man can no more become wise
than a wild donkey's colt can be born a man.

13 "Yet if you devote your heart to him
and stretch out your hands to him,

14 if you put away the sin that is in your hand
and allow no evil to dwell in your tent,

15 then you will lift up your face without shame;
you will stand firm and without fear.

16 You will surely forget your trouble,
recalling it only as waters gone by.

17 Life will be brighter than noonday,
and darkness will become like morning.

18 You will be secure, because there is hope;
you will look about you and take your rest in safety.

19 You will lie down, with no one to make you afraid,
and many will court your favor.


Thank you for your continued prayers. May the Lord make your life brighter than noonday, may you be secure in the hope of Jesus, and may you take rest in His safety!

Super GI Model!!

Upper GI photoshoot is done!

It's amazing that the prep for an EGD takes about 2 hours when the procedure itself takes about 10 minutes, and recovery about 30 minutes. Kara was a trooper. She was a little scared going in, was asleep within 5 seconds of receiving the meds, and woke up giggling. LOL The first thing on her mind was pancakes!

The doctor said her images look good. It will be about a week for the pathology reports to come back on the tissues being tested. We see her next Friday afternoon, so pray those reports are back for our appointment.

The hospital was able to run the lab work through Kara's IV today, so she doesn't have to be poked again next week! YAY! Pray these labs are in by next Friday also.

Thank you for your prayers. Every step of this journey we are feeling the support of our loved ones.

“Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky.”

-- Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
Nobel Prize, Literature (1913)

Esophagogastroduodenoscopy (EGD)

Friday morning Kara will have a scope of her upper GI tract...down her esophagus, through the stomach (I hope all of the Easter candy is all gone), through her duodenum, and into her small intestines. It all sounds pretty intense, but the procedure itself should only take about 10 minutes. She will be under general anesthesia for the first time. I pray she comes out of it gracefully. Her Pediatric GI doctor will do the scope and we should have results right away.

Kara is a little uncertain about this procedure. Ironically, she isn't afraid of the IV, but of the tube going down her throat. She is concerned the tube will get stuck. She is so funny.

You're continued prayers are appreciated. I'll post her results tomorrow afternoon. Hopefully we will have more good news to report!

Blessings!

Hope and praise!!

Today Kara saw her new Pediatric Rheumatologist. We like her alot! She is throrough and spoke to us directly so we could understand her.

Although Kara may be presenting with some Scleroderma symptoms, including the spot on her leg that looks like it is the skin presence, there still isn't enough evidence to diagnose her. She is not concerned about the enlarged spleen or liver at this point, but may follow-up on those at some point. When she examined her, she couldn't feel the tip of her spleen, which means it either may not be swollen any longer or that it isn't very swollen at all. This is all GOOD news! This all still could be something else...much easier to treat and manage.

The doctor has ordered more lab tests (YAY!) for a much more comprehensive look at her autoimmune system, as well as her thyroid, and a few other things. In two weeks we will return to see her with those results and the reults of her Upper GI scope being done this Friday. All of this information will help us build the picture of whatever Kara is dealing with.

We are pleased to have found a Rheumatologist that wants to keep a good eye on Kara and will work with her Gastroenterologist to put this picture together. Praise GOD!!

"As for me, I will always have hope, I will praise you more and more."
~Psalm 71:14 NIV

Great News! And more frustration...

This past Thursday I was chatting with my friend, Pam, in Oregon when interrupted by a few other phone calls. The first two were the GI doctor's office returning calls regarding further testing, but the third call was the "God Moment!"

As we ended our call, we prayed for one another, Pam first, then me. As I was closing our prayer, my phone rang again. I ignored it, although Pam was concerned I should grab it. I told her, "If it wasn't Jesus calling, it could wait." Well, Jesus was calling and answering another prayer!

The call was the new Pediatric Rheumatologist's office calling to schedule an appointment for Kara! WOOHOO! A second opinion...or hopefully some facts...will come soon. Kara will see her on Tuesday, April 14th.

So then frustration...Kara was supposed to see the Pediatric GI doctor this Wednesday and she has been rescheduled for April 24th. She may be able to have some GI testing done in the meantime, but we'll see.

We are watching a spot on her right leg that could be the morphea skin presence. We will show the Pediatric Rheumatologist on Tuesday and see what she says. It has grown, but who knows, it could be nothing.

Well, we keep praying, we keep waiting...it isn't so bad being in God's presence so much. 8-)

Patience

It's been a week since our last post, so I thought I'd update you on what is going on...nothing.

Last Thursday I had lunch with a friend at a Chinese restaurant. I have always loved fortune cookies, not for the fortune, but for the cookie. Although this particular day I read my fortune and threw a big grown-up fit. It was something about patience and I am really tired of having to have patience! We are all done with being patient.

So we are waiting right now. Waiting for the GI doctor to call, waiting for God to heal Kara, waiting on patience, wait, wait, wait. I recently came across this great quote on patience...

“Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience.”

I hadn't realized the strength in patience. I guess that is why it is important to God.

Well, while we wait, Kara's tummy still feels heavy. The pain in her right arm and left thigh has diminished, and she has encountered difficult nights. She sometimes has a difficult time getting to sleep and sometimes staying asleep. Her goal this week is to make it to school every day. It is a lofty goal, but one I know God will honor.

She sees the GI doctor next Wednesday, April 8th. We don't what will happen between now and then, but we haven't counted out God's complete healing!

Thank you for your prayers...they are being answered. She is not experiencing as much pain and discomfort as before. Now, we just want the tummy better, which would mean the spleen and liver are back to normal, and a negative test result for Scleroderma! Come on, God, you can do it!

Next step...

Well, we had learned that Scleroderma can be a challenging diagnosis and now we are finding that to be the case. The Rheumatologist is sending us back to the Pediatric Gastroenterologist for further testing on Kara's GI tract. He said that a clinical diagnosis of Scleroderma is not determined only by testing positive for the disease. Since Kara doesn't have any skin involvement at this time, the formal diagnosis and treatment will not begin unless there is proof of intestinal/esophogeal damage. Thankfully, we love our Ped GI doctor and should be able to get the required tests done without a problem.

So this leads us to the following:

~either Kara has an extremely rare case of Systemic Scleroderma that is beginning internally,

OR

~Kara is carrying the disease, but it is not "actively" attacking her body.

It is nice to have the "next step" on our journey, and the good news that she may only be carrying the disease at this point. We believe God can and may have already healed her, so keep praying and stay tuned...

Seeing the Rheumatologist...

Tomorrow is a big day...we will be seeing the Rheumatologist. This specialist will be the main physician that manages Kara's Scleroderma. We have many, many questions for him and will be going to this appointment as a family. Someone recommended that we include our older daughter, Kori, in on some of Kara's appointments so she understands what we are all facing as a family. So, we will all be at this appointment and possibly the next couple as we enter into the treatment phase of this journey. We will soon know Kara's type of Scleroderma, the progression of it in her, the health of her internal organs, and the treatment options available.

Thank you for your continued prayers and your loving support. God is a good God and He is in control! We look forward to the days ahead, knowing He has a purpose and a plan for Kara and our family through Scleroderma.

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12

A friend to relate to...

Today has been a wonderful day!!

A few days ago, I contacted a support group in Northern California to try to find out if there are any other families nearby with whom we could connect. In the meantime, another family about an hour away from us, did the same thing! They have a daughter about Kara's age with Scleroderma who is looking for a friend. I have given the support group leader permission to share my contact information with this family and I hope to hear from them soon...I'll keep you posted!

God is so good!!

GREAT NEWS!!

GREAT NEWS!!! Our oldest daughter’s, lab work came back NORMAL!! And, within 10 minutes of that call, the Rheumatologist’s office called with a cancellation to get Kara in this Monday! YAY!! If God doesn’t heal her over the weekend at least we are closer to beginning her treatments!

These are direct answers to your prayers…THANK YOU!

It's Scleroderma

Let me begin by saying we are so blessed to have had the prayers and support of our family, friends, church, co-workers and Facebook friends. Those prayers have kept us going through the past six weeks and they will keep us as we go forward.

It is March 13th, 2009. We are only 4 days into our journey with Kara's Scleroderma. At this point, we are unsure of the "type" she has, but are fairly certain she hasn't had any skin involvment yet. Here is how we got to this point...

• January 27th - saw Pediatrician in group for abdominal pain/discomfort; ran a urine test - positive for blood, negative for UTI; watch it for a week and if not better run blood tests
• February 3rd - our Pediatrician wanted to run a urine culture this time; I insisted blood tests be run also; after school we went to the lab
• February 5th - saw our Pediatrician since pain was not going away; her labs were normal for the most part; but now we know the tests were very basic; he was trying to say it was IBS. I asked if it could be related to her GERD (reflux) when she was a baby or Celiac Disease (wheat gluten intolerance)...he said he didn't think so. Ordered abdominal and pelvic ultrasound and for the next two weeks, we tried adjusting her diet and giving her Dicyclomine (Bentyl) for colon cramping. Didn't work.
• February 11th - Kara had her first ultrasound
• February 13th - Pediatrician called with ultrasound results; Kara's spleen is swollen and she has a cyst on her left ovary; called in a prescription for Anaprox (Aleve) as needed and give it another week
• February 23rd - return to Pediatrician having done it his way and it not working; he ordered a CT Scan this time; I asked if it could be Mononeucleosis, he said it could be, but didn't think so and mentioned IBS again...but does that cause your spleen to swell?
• February 24th - CT Scan; Kara was a champ!
• February 26th - CT Scan results; spleen is swollen and liver is borderline; referring us to see Pediatric Gastroenterologist
• March 2nd - visited urgent care clinic for arm pain; doctor seemed a bit baffled that she was having tendonitis symptoms; take Anaprox 3 times per day...didn't think it was related to her abdominal issues
• March 4th - Got in to see Ped GI on a cancellation (PTL!); she mentioned in 2005 Kara had an autoimmune marker show up on some blood tests - something to check out; also checking for Mononeucleosis and Celiac Disease (which we were really leaning toward); she was very thorough; off for more blood tests and have to begin a laxative daily.
• March 9th - Kara tested positive for Scl70, Systemic Scleroderma, a very rare autoimmune disease where her body is attacking its own connective tissues...for her its internal. We are now waiting to see a Rheumatologist who will identify her type of Scleroderma, its progression, the impact it is making on her internal organs already, and a recommended course of action.

The past few days have been full of researching the disease, specialists and treatments. Our Ped GI has a friend finishing up her Rheumatology fellowship at Stanford, so if we don't end up seeing her, at the very least, our Ped GI has said she will consult any recommended treatment with her. God is so great!

We do suspect that Kara has been showing signs of this since she was a baby. Its understandable why it wasn't found prior to 2005, I just don't get why there wasn't further research done in 2005 when the marker showed up. One day all of the answers will be clear, until then, our trust must be in the God who has never let us down.

We already see the Lord's hand at work in all of this. Yes, Kara's symptoms have progressed in the last 6 weeks, she still has abdominal pain, and now has pain in her right arm and left leg, but we have received a diagnosis in a matter of weeks and will begin treatment very soon. Many do not find out they have Scleroderma for years, if not decades. For this quick diagnosis, we are thankful.

The Lord has a plan for Kara and our family through this journey. We know the days ahead will challenge us, but we anticipate them knowing we will continue to see God's hand at work. May our journey bring Him glory.

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

We are blessed, so blessed.

~Kelly